The Emmerance's Podcast

Navigating Post-Graduation Life

• Emmerance Victoria Odia Ndala • Season 3 • Episode 60

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In this podcast episode, Emmerance shares her post-graduation journey and offers guidance for those navigating the transition to the real world. With lessons on financial literacy, setting clear goals, prioritizing well-being, and more, listeners will be inspired to discover their own paths to success. Join the conversation and redefine success on your own terms with this roadmap to resilience and personal growth.

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About Emmerance:

Emmerance Victoria Odia Ndala is a Self-Empowerment Coach, personal development blogger and Transformational speaker. She has been helping people with their self-love and personal development journey by being their coach or accountability partner.

If you have any questions, contact Emmerance @TheEmmerance or email Victoria@Emmerance.com.

Instagram: @TheEmmerance

Website: Emmerance.com

Music Credits: @sakionthebeat

Speaker 1:

It's okay for you to try things and understand that it's not for you, but the very important part is for you to actually get out of there. That's not your scene. Figure out what your scene is.

Speaker 2:

This is the Emirates podcast, where we empower you to choose yourself, because there's no other human being that's more important in this world than you. This might sound selfish, but it's not. If you believe that choosing yourself is selfish, then I want you to know that self first isn't selfish, and I will tell you why.

Speaker 1:

Hi guys, welcome back to another episode of the Emirates podcast. I'm your host, emirates, victoria Odiantala, and I am so happy and excited to be here with you guys. Another episode and just another week. You know, back in 2022, I think, or 2023. I had to post my podcast or release my podcast every two weeks because I was so busy and now that I'm back doing this weekly, it feels so good, because it feels like you all just needed a little dose of self empowerment every week and that will be all right.

Speaker 1:

So in this podcast episode, we are going to talk about what you should be doing after graduation. So after you graduated high school and you decided to go out there live your life, or if you decided to go to college and then end there, graduated, or you decided to continue your studies and go to a university and you graduated, either you get your bachelor's degree or master's. What I'm going to talk about today is basically about what you should be doing after that big graduation. I'm going to give you a backstory of myself first. All right, because I think you guys will understand if it comes from a good background story. So I remember back in 2018, actually near the end of 2017, I graduated in university in 2018, around the summer, but my last years in university was not the greatest. I took it so seriously because life came at me, basically. So what happened was in 2017, I received a letter from the student loans department telling me that I'm no longer going to get any student loans to pay my tuition, and so I was scared. I was very much lost. I tried to redeem myself, but the reason was that I lied about my income. But that's because I did not have any knowledge of taxes and letting the student loans know about your income. Many people, if they, can relate, you know we just sign up for things and we don't really know how it works. So that's basically what was happening to me, and so when I went through that hardship, I felt so depressed. It was one of the biggest depression in my life, and the first thing that I did actually was to fix my finances. So I was like I'm not going to take a break. I need. I have three more semesters and I did not have any money to pay those tuition. I was relying on the student loans, so I had to borrow money, I had to start work and in the end, I took summer classes and finished university by taking a job full time. So it was a lot. It was a lot, but in that process okay. So I basically went out there in the real world way before I was able to even graduate.

Speaker 1:

So if that's you, if you have like a part-time or full-time job and you're taking classes part-time, you already know the gist of it. You already know how life is hard, in a way that you have to pay your own bills. You have to pay for many things like basically nothing is free in this world. You have to pay to be alive. All right, it comes with a price and you have to pay it. So, unless you have rich parents or you come from a good background, I mean and things are already set for you, that's great.

Speaker 1:

But I still think the things that you should be doing after graduation, when you go out there, one first thing don't go into depression like me. I mean, you're probably won't be able to avoid it. Because let me tell you something the reality of it is we have been conditioned to go to school Monday to Friday, we go party on the weekend and things like that, and many of us, when we're not ready for the real world, we're either going to go to work nine to five and then on the weekends we party, and you can be stuck in that cycle for so long that you will not even know who you truly are. When you are studying, when you're in university and stuff like that, especially when you're in your early twenties, you really don't know what's going on. You actually don't know yourself. So one thing that I do encourage you if you graduated in the past years already and this is something that you're listening now and you've gone through your depression stages and stuff like that, you survived Congratulations.

Speaker 1:

The things that I'm going to talk about is the things that I personally did, and I did it without knowing, because today I'm reading a book. It's called the 12 week year. I encourage you to read that book because it's going to help you get things done and it talks about the things that I did without knowing that these are the things that I should be doing. So when I went through depression, I thought to myself I will never owe anybody money anymore, like I did borrow money from family members and from my own bank. But at the end of the day, I had that hate. I was like how come someone can be able to do this to me Like I was stupid. I did not know how to report my income and I honestly did not do my taxes. And that was the first year in 2017. That was the year where I was catching up. So I did my 2015, 2016 and 2017 taxes and suddenly I received this letter.

Speaker 1:

You guys could imagine how shocked I was because I was relying on this money to pay off my tuition and to graduate. So, basically, I was really stuck and I was hurt. I was so hurt that I decided that I will never, ever again owe any money to anyone because they don't deserve it. Honestly, student loans department did not deserve me to borrow money from them. So, basically, after a few years, I did pay off my student loans. Go listen to the podcast how I paid off my student loans in full. I paid off around 27,000 in two years or three. Well, I actually started planning that after like 2018. So around 2021 or 2020, actually 2020, I started like planning and it was about a year that I saved 20,000 and the 7,000 was already paid by, like my monthly payments. So I have that podcast episode, so we're not going to go talk about how I paid it off. I would even listen to that podcast episode if you're looking to pay any type of loans or if you're looking to save way more money so that you can invest in other stuff with it. Anyways, so during my depression in 2018, near 2019, I did some stuff, and this is the things that I would like you to do.

Speaker 1:

If you graduated last year, if you graduate, if you're about to graduate, it is very important to understand that the real life is way different than the life that was taught to you by your teachers and all that School is not the real life. Okay, the real life is a real struggle, and you have to mentally be prepared for it. One thing that I strongly believe is you have to know first where you come from in order for you to know where you're going. So where you come from is understanding the past, understanding every experiences that you've had in the past Anything really, the things that you survived, the things you've accomplished, anything really that you did that you feel proud of. And also, you have to understand that you had some times where you were not proud of yourself, and you have to also revisit those days, revisit the times that got you very depressed, very sad, and the things that got you so disappointed of yourself, so that you can learn from it Now to understand where you're going.

Speaker 1:

What does that mean is having a vision. One thing that I learned, which I'm learning again I'm redoing it again, actually in 2024, is to know where I'm going. Have a strong vision, have a vision for your life. The future is there for you to paint it. You already know the past. Now you're going forward, moving forward when you go into this real world and you graduated, whether you're really already there or not. If you haven't done this, you must do it. Take a moment, sit down with yourself and plan the next five, 10, 15 years of your life.

Speaker 1:

And a vision is something that people can look at you. If they listen to it, they kind of laugh and be like this is impossible. How are you going to get there? A vision is something that's unrealistic. Maybe people might say, oh, if you don't have that DNA, you can achieve that goal. A vision is something that scares you, is something that gets you out of your comfort zone. And you'll be surprised because a lot of times many people could not imagine that they even could graduate because when they started university they were on probation all the time for like two or three years, and now they graduated with good grades. And who would have thought that you could graduate with good grades? It's like it's the same way of thinking when you are writing down your vision for the next five, 10 years. You have to be in your imagination. You have to actually be in the impossible side of the things that you've dreamed about. Just sit down with yourself, write down things.

Speaker 1:

One thing that I did without knowing now that I'm doing it again because of the book that I'm reading. It's called the 12 Week Year. I highly recommend you to read it because it's going to help you also plan things and get things done. So in this book it makes you write about your vision, and it's exactly what I'm saying right now. It's telling you that a vision should scare you. Now one thing is you have to believe it right. It's something that when you close your eyes and you think about it and you're like, oh my gosh, this is my life, and you have shivers, you have joy, anything like it's just so beautiful that you are overjoyed when you think about it.

Speaker 1:

So one thing that I did back then is I wrote my vision for the next, I think it was the next five years and I would tell myself like, okay, this is me today. I think I was like 21. And then next year I would be 22, 23, 24. You can do it that way. I think it helped me a lot because it made me realize the things that I would be able to accomplish and the things that I didn't accomplish. And when I go back to that list I'm like, oh my gosh, I wanted to be like a marketing employee or work somewhere with marketing, and that is not what I did. That is absolutely not. I work in HR now and I'm so happy that I work in HR, although I did study marketing and I graduated with a bachelor degree in marketing. But that's just an example of you can write something, but it might not happen.

Speaker 1:

But something bigger can happen, because when you do your goals, you have to understand that certain goals will not go with the activities or the actions that you do right now. So when you do a goal, it helps you go forward and decide what kind of jobs you're gonna get, what kind of relationship you would like to have, how is your health mentally, emotionally, physically, how's your finances, everything like that How's your pocket? You have to have that vision and tackle and visit every five health in order for you to be like okay, this is what I have to do today in order for me to reach there. So after you graduate, the first thing to do is have a vision, sit down with yourself and think about the things that you would like to have, your desires, and every day you must revisit your vision and kind of tweak it and stuff like that. Cause I did that. I saw that, okay, I did not go towards my marketing goals, but what I did was I created a brand. Now I'm a coach. You know I've always wanted to have the Emirates as a brand. I wanted to have a personal brand and that's what I did and you can do that too Now.

Speaker 1:

After that, when you go out to the world again, I said you might be depressed because it's a shock. It's gonna shock you, but understand that it's a playground. It's like a playground and you create the game, you create how you're gonna play it, basically, and there's no errors in life. Of course you will gain experiences. Let's say, you go out to the club every weekend and then it drains your energy. You now you understand that that's not for you. Or you go out every weekend and you understand that you have childhood traumas that needs to stop, or you're just so sick and tired of being like always drinking or being high and all that, and you're evolving. That's how you learn in life.

Speaker 1:

It's okay for you to try things and understand that it's not for you, but the very important part is for you to actually get out of there. That's not your scene. Figure out what your scene is Like. Your scene is probably being somewhere else. Have brunch instead of going to the nightclubs, or have a social circle where you can do activity, play volleyball, soccer, whatever. It's really anything that aligns with your vision. That's what you should be doing. Of course, you have the right to have your moment. You can go out to the club and stuff like that, but that's not life. Okay, you have to remain healthy. You have to understand that your health is the most important thing in the world Mentally, emotionally, physically. The things that you inhale, the things that you drink, the things that you listen to can be bad for you and you have to just be careful because if it doesn't go with your vision, what are you doing? All right, but all of these are experiences. Don't be too hard on yourself. You're learning.

Speaker 1:

And one thing that I would like you to understand, too, is when you go and figure out your relationships, whether romantic or friendship, sometimes you just have to let life do its things. Okay, you might lose some friends. You might gain new friends, because when I was growing up, I heard that, oh, adult friends, you can't have new adult friends and stuff like that, like who lied to you? When you're growing and you're becoming an adult, you realize who you are right, and the friends that you had when you were a child they're probably not going to be around because you're a different person now. And some people are still friends with their childhood friends and that's fine. I applaud you for that.

Speaker 1:

But it's not for everyone. Some people grow and they decide that, okay, that's probably not what I should be doing. That's not my scene. I love these girls, I love these men, but my friends are. They're not going where I want to go, they're not aligned with my vision. If they're not in line with your vision and you decide to let go of them, that's fine. Same with a romantic relationship. A romantic relationship, you have to think about it that way. It's someone that you are going to spend the rest of your life with right. We're looking for partnership. We're looking for someone that can encourage us right to be better, and them too. They need to work on themselves. So what you need to understand is that you have to be wise. You choose your friends wisely. Choose your circle wisely.

Speaker 1:

I always am an advocate for using people in the positive way, and people should be coming to you and using you as references and stuff like that. They are there to uplift you and make your vision become a reality. So if you have haters in your life, what are you doing? You should cut them off. You should not be in a toxic relationship. If you understand that that person is not healthy for you and you've been crying as if you're in a relationship with an onion, what are you doing? Learn how to let go.

Speaker 1:

This is another podcast episode on its own. I'm going to talk about it because I've been through three of my exes and they were just not healthy for me. But I understand that it's so hard to let go, especially if that relationship came from back then in high school, or if that relationship came when you were at your loneliest, because now you think that that's the only person that can love you. Don't think like that. You have to really work on that. So real life is really scary.

Speaker 1:

I have so many things to share on this topic, but I just want you to understand that it's a playground. You don't take it seriously. All you do is understand that you are experiencing. You're experiencing something new and it's okay to make mistakes. It's okay to make mistakes anywhere at work, romantic relationships, friendships, in your own health. You understand that this is something that doesn't work for me, or this is something that works for me. You implement new things, you improve, but as long as you're going towards that vision, when you are working, always look for that person that you can rely on. What I mean is I'm not saying go to work and talk about your life, but be cool with everyone, cause you don't know how this person can help you in the future.

Speaker 1:

One thing that you have to know is when you go towards a job and you get hired, they ask for references, right? So if you don't have an ally in this current job and you're going to towards another job, it's okay. Some people lie. They bring their cousin or friend to say you know, can you just act as if you're my coworker, my manager or whatever? But one thing is you want to have a less stressful process, so have allies, you know, be friendly with people, connect with your coworker, have them like you and you like them back. It's a mutual relationship. Okay, you don't have to be friends with them after work or outside of work, but you have to have this ally relationship where they can put you as a reference and you can put them as a reference and you guys help each other grow, because every job that I had in my life I had to just post it somewhere or send my resume to HR. They end up calling me and now I have to give a reference right away. I have my allies. I can go to my other job and this job and my manager and this manager. There will be my reference and they will be happy to do it because I have a great teamwork spirit. All right.

Speaker 1:

So again, understand that when you are going through life, you will need coaches, mentors, people that have already done it. I always say the best cheat code is to learn from other people. I learned from my siblings. I learned from books. Read a bunch of books, self development or personal development books, non-fiction books are the greatest lessons that you can learn, and you can also avoid doing the same mistakes as other people did, whether they live in the same country as you or they don't. They will teach you many things that you did not know, and that's how you increase like you have knowledge. Knowledge is so powerful. It can bring you to many places, take you many places, many places that you haven't even imagined.

Speaker 1:

In conclusion of everything that I'm saying right now, once you're finished, once you graduate, have a vision. Five, 10 years. Make a plan of what you will be doing today. Have coaches, mentors, people that you can rely on. Listen to people that you would like to become like them. Okay, don't listen to people that has nothing to do with what you're trying to do, because some people will just doubt you and that's not cool. So have those mentors. Understand that life is what you make it, so understand that it is a playground. You can do trials and errors and learn from it. Remember where you come from and where you're going. So learn from your past and improve each day. All right, so if you found this helpful, let me know. Contact me at the Amarons If you want to hear my perspective on different topics, let me know too, and on that note I will let you go. Remember self first isn't selfish. Bye-bye.