The Emmerance's Podcast

How to Stay Motivated

• Emmerance Victoria Odia Ndala • Season 3 • Episode 61

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When life throws challenges our way, it's easy to feel overwhelmed and defeated before even starting to tackle them. In these moments of doubt, we need to tap into our self-awareness and inner strength to motivate ourselves to take the first step forward. The latest podcast episode delves into this topic, discussing the many facets of self-awareness and its profound impact on our overall well-being. Throughout the episode, Emmerance explores how understanding our emotions, thoughts, and behaviours can help us navigate life's obstacles with more ease and grace. They also provide practical tips and strategies for cultivating self-awareness in our daily lives, empowering listeners to live more authentically and mindfully

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About Emmerance:

Emmerance Victoria Odia Ndala is a Self-Empowerment Coach, personal development blogger and Transformational speaker. She has been helping people with their self-love and personal development journey by being their coach or accountability partner.

If you have any questions, contact Emmerance @TheEmmerance or email Victoria@Emmerance.com.

Instagram: @TheEmmerance

Website: Emmerance.com

Music Credits: @sakionthebeat

Speaker 1:

One other important thing that's going to help you stay motivated is knowing where you're going, knowing your why.

Speaker 2:

This is the Emirates podcast, where we empower you to choose yourself, because there's no other human being that's more important in this world than you. This might sound selfish, but it's not. If you believe that choosing yourself is selfish, then I want you to know that self first isn't selfish, and I will tell you why.

Speaker 1:

Hi guys, welcome back to another episode of the Emirates podcast. I'm your host, Emirates, Victoria Odiendala and I'm so happy and grateful to be back with another episode.

Speaker 1:

So in this podcast episode we're going to talk about staying motivated and why is it just a struggle to do so? I remember when I moved out from Ottawa, came to Vancouver, I was kind of struggling with staying on track with the podcast and the Emirates as a coach and the brand and posting on social media. There's just a lot of things that goes into moving, especially if you're moving from a whole city and it's five hours away by plane. So I kind of lost that motivation when I started this new job that I had that allowed me to come to Vancouver, and I think it's because I had some challenges in that job. So the main thing here, when it comes to staying motivated, we always want to be self-aware. We want to be self-aware with our mental health, emotional health, physical health and all the health that I name in the five health, financial and spiritual health. And it's just so important for you to tap into these health because when something is wrong in one of them, you're most likely not going to be motivated to continue a certain goal, and that is the main reason why I was struggling to come back to the podcast. I tried, I was just not motivated enough to have a podcast episode come out every week. So, because my emotional health and mental health was not good at all because of that job, I had to really figure out how I can still serve my people and also take care of myself. So that's when I decided to do the podcast for every two weeks and then after that I was just still struggling because, at the end of the day, I'm not fully giving myself that attention that I need. I was not filling up my cup in many different ways and I just realized this is not going to work. If I'm not going to be able to sit down and have some podcast episode coming out, I will be really sad because I'm just being hard on myself. You know, my mental health, emotional health is telling me that we can't do that. We can't serve other people, and the reason why is because I'm unable to serve myself. So that's when I decided to just take a break and that was a few months breaks and I came back and now I'm back and super motivated. I'm back on social media. I'm posting constantly. So if you're not following me on social media right now on TikTok or Instagram go ahead and do it. What are you doing? Listen to my podcast and not following me, unless you don't have it, which I understand but if you do, support your girl, my podcast is the Emirates podcast and my social media is the Emirates, so go and hit a follow button. I love hearing from you guys, so send me a DM. Let me know what you think about this podcast and the subject that you would like me to talk about.

Speaker 1:

So, with my own personal story, you can see why there's certain ways that you can struggle to stay motivated. One thing is if you have, like a partner, family member, or you live with your family and there's issue in that relationship, you're most likely won't be able to fulfill what you're trying to fulfill, whether it is create a new project or just going back to school or studying and getting good grades. You're not going to be motivated to do them because you have personal issues with your relationships, right. So it's so important to think about these things because when you have a partner that is toxic, you're most likely not going to be accomplishing many things. So that is the biggest reasons why some of us are not motivated because we have parents that are not good for us. They don't really fill our cup with positive words. They tell us that we are going to amount to nothing or we're nothing and we will never be someone, and things like that, and those are the things that will live with us forever, even when you're 40, 50. You're going to struggle with maintaining good relationships. You're going to struggle with a lot of things. So the one thing that I would highly, highly recommend to anyone whether you're going through a heart situation at work or with family members relationship you really have to understand that. You know it's not worth it. On the long run you're only going to be left with trauma and it's just going to hurt you more, because these are the things that you care about, but they don't care about you, and that hurts.

Speaker 1:

So in order for you to heal from that first is you have to cut ties. You have to really just either block or leave that job or do something with yourself that you will love. Find something new, find new friends, find a new partner or just work on yourself first, and that is the first thing, and then, after that, you go to therapy. That's the work on yourself part. Go to therapy, write on your journal, do some self-evaluation work. You really need to tap into that side of you that needs you. You need a full attention to yourself and kind of have that mindset of you know it's going to be okay, even though we had a bad experience with certain people, we're going to be fine. You just have to figure out the best way that works for you.

Speaker 1:

I mean, therapy worked for me amazingly after my breakup with my ex and then after that, when I had a really bad manager, I left that job after a month and a few weeks and then I got into a new job. But I had to take a break. I had like three weeks off and I took that moment, that time, to really work on me, to go back to who I was. But it still lingers. You know it's still there. I had a lot of times I second-guess myself and that really took a toll on my podcast, on my personal life, and so I had to take a break. So, take a break, work on yourself.

Speaker 1:

Don't go and get a new partner if you're not fully ready yet and you're never going to be fully ready. That is one thing. But at the same time, as long as you're no longer second-guessing yourself, as long as you're no longer telling yourself that you're not going to amount to nothing, like the others have been telling you. You'll be fine, you can now start a new relationship, you can now start having new friends and stuff like that, but just know that it's not going to be easy. You're probably going to have trust issues and that's okay. It's just something that you have to work on and keep working on. So when you work on those things let's say you go to therapy and stuff like that and then now you're going back to, let's say, trying to go back to working out and things like that One other important thing that's going to help you stay motivated is knowing where you're going, knowing your why.

Speaker 1:

Many different aspects in our lives need a why. Every five health that I name in this podcast spiritual health, physical health, emotional, mental and financial health they all have to have a specific why. So, when it comes to finance, for example, why are you trying to get some money in your bank account? Why are you trying to have savings? Why are you trying to invest in stocks and stuff like that? You are not going to be putting money in your savings account if you don't know why. You have to have a higher purpose in doing that If you save money, it's probably because you don't want to live paycheck to paycheck.

Speaker 1:

That's a good motivation. Like you don't want to live paycheck to paycheck, so you make sure that you have money in the bank and you make sure that you have lots of it so that you have room to spend money and not just wait for another payday in order for you to spend money, because now you have to borrow money and then when you have your payday, you have to pay back the money and then it's like a cycle and you don't want that. That's scary, honestly, for me in my financial health, the one thing that really empowered me, really motivated me, is the fact that I did not want to owe money to anyone. If you don't know, I had a really bad situation with my finances with the student loans. I hated it because I had to pay my tuition by myself for like three semesters and I did. But after that I was so mad that I put that purpose. I put my why is to never owe anyone money.

Speaker 1:

I borrow money from my own bank, whether it's my line of credit or credit card, or I just don't have money and I'm not going to spend. You know, but I'm not going to go and ask people for money. That is just not going to be what I do. Unless it's like mortgage and things like that, okay, that's fine. Those are the things that I'm going to do. But just to borrow money for what? You know, I set my goal and I'm going to have a certain amount of money in my bank account. That is my base. That is my minimum. I have to have a minimum amount in my savings and I'm not going to touch that. I'm not going to touch that savings, I'm going to just keep saving and saving and then the extra ones is what I can use if I need it. That is just financial health, physical health. I have to be in a certain weight category. I have to be in a healthy weight category. That is my why. So that's why I go and work out, I eat healthy and things like that.

Speaker 1:

Mental and emotional health kind of goes together. You know, you have to maintain a good brain health. I have to be more self-aware. I have to be in control of my own body. So, yeah, no smoking. If it is, then you can smoke here and there, like occasionally, if that's your thing, but at the same time you have to understand that you cannot lose yourself. Don't get into drugs that will be so addicted that you lose yourself. It's so hard because at the same time, it's this body, this brain, that you have. It's the only thing that you have. So if you're going through stuff and you're not feeling yourself, you're not feeling like yourself, then go to therapy. There's group therapy. There's better help. There's, you know, one-on-one therapy that you can do and book. Those are the things that will help you tremendously with your mental and emotional health, especially if you've been addicted, if you've been stuck into drinking every day, like that is not you, you're not in control of yourself. You're letting your emotions or anything that's building up inside of you, you're letting that hurt you. So that is not healthy. You have to know your why. You have to know your why in everything. So I've been saying, like in these three health, you know we have financial, emotional and mental health. I've given some examples of why.

Speaker 1:

And if we talk about spiritual health, it's just, you know, having that nice spiritual and nice relationship with God. Whether you call it God or the universe, you want to be able to be saying your grace. You want to be able to just feel protected spiritually. You want to be able to tap into your intuition, your gut. That is the one thing that will allow you to make better decisions in life. If there's something threatening you and you feel it in your gut, follow it. That's how you work and be more in tune with your intuition. Just follow your intuition. Your intuition might tell you. You know what? Maybe you shouldn't go to work today and you don't. You're calling sick and at the end of the day you hear that there was an accident. You know, that is the spiritual health that I'm talking about. The goal here is to have that relationship with yourself, to be more mindful. Maybe practice yoga, maybe go to church, maybe read your Bible. Those are the things that will keep you into tapping into your why.

Speaker 1:

One thing that many people struggle with is procrastination. I've been there, done that, and I call myself lazy a lot, but I feel like sometimes that's an excuse that I give myself, but it also allows me to work smarter and not harder. So, yes, I can be lazy sometimes. Yes, I can do things like halfway, or I'm someone that has multiple purposes. I feel like I have so many aspirations in my life that I want to do everything, but I also want to be able to give myself some time to rest. So I think if you're struggling with procrastination, it's probably because you have some childhood traumas that you did not address and that you do need to address. So go to therapy for that.

Speaker 1:

The reason why I say childhood traumas is because most of us, what happens is we are scared of the results that we can get. We are scared of going above and beyond. We are scared of actually doing the work and seeing the results, or we're scared of being judged. We're scared of failing. We're scared of trying and failing. We're scared of looking stupid in front of people. Listen, one thing that I learned recently is that people are going to hate Whether you go to school, whether you get married early or you have a child early, whether you don't have a child and you just stay single. Somehow, someone has something to say about your life and your life choices. That is okay. At the end of the day, they're going to talk Now. The reason is, procrastination is just the limit that we're setting up for ourselves, and I think many of us can be better at it, like we can work on our procrastination so that we can just be better with our own life, so that we don't live to regret.

Speaker 1:

Why didn't I end up doing that? Why didn't I go to that country? Or why didn't I work on that book that I've been trying to work on? Why didn't I create a podcast? Why didn't I share my voice or go to this seminar and talk about my trauma and share and help other people? You don't want to live until you're like 15 and then you have kids and you're all bitter because you didn't follow your dreams. I mean, even at 50, it's not too late. But right now, if you're aware that you have to do something and you're procrastinating, you need to do that. You need to literally just say you know what, let me try. It doesn't hurt. I know that I look damn stupid.

Speaker 1:

Going online and sharing my thoughts on certain things, empowering people. A lot of people judge me for the things that I've done, the choices I've made. People just want to share their thoughts and say hateful things. It's okay. It's not going to stop me, though it's not going to stop me. I'm not going to stop because I have a higher purpose. I have my why is to help other people. When I talk to someone and they are comfortable sharing their traumas with me. I feel like I've accomplished something because I at least they have someone that they can talk to, and talking to someone and just be free and vulnerable is so necessary for your growth, for your health, and if I'm able to do that, then you can too.

Speaker 1:

It's because I didn't procrastinate. It's because even though like one thing about this podcast episode, by the way, I had recorded this a few weeks ago and when I came back to it it was empty I felt so broken. I could have been just like okay, you know what, I'm going to post another podcast episode and I'm just going to leave this out. No, I sat down, although I have to go to yoga class right now, in a bit. I sat down and I'm like let me share, because a lot of people are struggling to stay motivated. We are struggling to work out. We start a workout, we stop. We have this 30 days challenge. We stop after five, six, 16 days, like, no, keep going, know your why Before you do a particular challenge.

Speaker 1:

I understand that that challenge might be like, you know, grow your glutes or have a flat stomach that's the goal, but that does not really help you stay motivated in order for you to finish that whole thing, unless you have, like, that is like your main concern and that's something that you really want to get rid of, or you want to have a little bit of muscle somewhere, because that is something that's really big for you, I think you have to have a better motivator, like you have to have a better motivator Like your. Why has to be higher than just having a flat belly. You know, why is it that you want to have a flat belly? That is the question that you have to ask yourself. You have to ask yourself, like why is it that I want to have a flat belly so much? You know, maybe you want to look good in that bikini and that can help you stay motivated and still on track.

Speaker 1:

Listen, I always say it's okay to take breaks, but it's not okay to quit. So I take breaks when I do my workouts and then after a few, even a month, I can take a break month and then after that I will tackle that in a few months in a row and I will feel better and that's just because I focused on something and then after that I'm going to focus on that afterwards. You know you can, you can do that, if that's something that will work for you. You can do that so that you stop taking long gas breaks like a year and then you go back to it and you're like, oh my gosh, I'm getting old. No, you're just not healthy and that's okay. It's okay because what you're doing right now is for you to remain healthy, and that's a good thing.

Speaker 1:

One last thing is I know that when we are struggling to stay motivated, one key factor here is really being scared of the change that it comes with. Being scared of looking good, I'm telling you, it is something being scared of the process, being scared of being sore all the time or for the first few weeks. It can be scary. Change is scary and I get it, and you should too. You should also understand that the reason why you're you're procrastinating is probably because you're scared of the change, and that's fine, but you have to. You're not going to stay in the toxic relationship because you're scared of being single. No, that's BS.

Speaker 1:

For me, I feel like it's a gift to be single. Although I'm in a relationship, I feel like when you're single, there's no like partners to tell you like, this is what I like, this is what I don't like and you you don't have to cater for them and things like that. And if you've been in a toxic relationship, that means you have a lot of trauma, a lot of things to work on. So when you're single, you can do that without someone telling you that you're too soft or you you're too demanding or you're too opinionated, like no, you don't need someone to tell you that. So when you're single, it's a blessing because you don't have anyone to tell you that. And if someone do tell you that while you guys are just in the talking stage or dating stage, I think that person is not a good partner for you. I think you should cut ties and go to the next one Work on yourself In your singleness.

Speaker 1:

You have to maximize it. You have to work on your five health. There's a lot of things you have to work on to that. When you become taken, when you're with someone, you have some substance. You know you can. You can give your point of view and you can be more confident in yourself. Wear the type of clothes that you want and just communicate in a healthy way. You know that's what singleness comes with. It's better. It prepares you for that next healthy relationship If you maximize it, actually not just staying single and then just trying desperately to be in another relationship. So that was it for today. I hope this podcast episode is going to help you stay motivated. I hope you took some notes and that you are going to implement the things that I shared and, if not, at least taking into consideration. But anyways, remember you are the only person that's the most important in this world. And yes, yes, yes, yes, this world revolves around you. Put yourself first. It is not selfish. All right, take care of yourself and I'll see you next week. Bye, bye.