The Emmerance's Podcast

How to Navigate Self-Discovery with Self-Love: A Personal Story

• Emmerance Victoria Odia Ndala • Season 3 • Episode 70

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Embark on a journey of self-realization and empowerment with Victoria Odia Ndala as she celebrates the 70th episode of our podcast, 'How to Navigate Self-Discovery with Self-Love: A Personal Story.' Born on a day marked by the number seven, Victoria shares her heartfelt connection to this numeral, weaving a tale of gratitude and collective growth.

Join Victoria as she unveils the raw chronicles of her life, from innocent youth to tumultuous young adulthood, where the pursuit of acceptance led to challenges of people-pleasing and financial recklessness. Yet, amidst the trials, transformation emerges as the soul of her story, marked by pivotal moments of self-awareness and the guiding light of faith.

Books serve as beacons along her journey, offering solace and direction, and Victoria extends this wisdom to listeners, inviting them to join an exclusive dating coaching program designed to foster healthy relationships and personal growth. With limited spots available, seize the opportunity to build a legacy of self-assurance, purpose, and love alongside Victoria and fellow participants. Discover that choosing self-love is not selfish but essential for a balanced and fulfilling life. Dive into this enriching narrative of self-discovery and spiritual health today.

Freebie promotion: Grab the free Ebook The Beauty of Self-Love: How to Find Love In Your Singleness. http://emmerance.com/free-ebook

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About Emmerance:

Emmerance Victoria Odia Ndala is a Self-Empowerment Coach, personal development blogger and Transformational speaker. She has been helping people with their self-love and personal development journey by being their coach or accountability partner.

If you have any questions, contact Emmerance @TheEmmerance or email Victoria@Emmerance.com.

Instagram: @TheEmmerance

Website: Emmerance.com

Music Credits: @sakionthebeat

Victoria:

As long as you understand that there's a higher power that's guiding you, that's protecting you, that's trying to help you, you will be okay. This is the Emmerance's podcast, where we empower you to choose yourself, because there's no other human being that's more important in this world than you. This might sound selfish, but it's not. If you believe that choosing yourself is selfish, then I want you to know that self first isn't selfish, and I will tell you why. Hi guys, welcome back to another episode of the Emmerance's podcast. I'm your host, Emmerance Victoria Odia Ndala, and today, as usual, I am grateful for another day, for another opportunity to be here and to talk to you. This podcast episode is actually the 70th podcast episode. That's crazy, right, I think, for me. The journey to be who I am today has led me to have this podcast episode just because I really wanted to grow with people. The purpose of having this podcast, of having a blog in the first place. My website doesn't have any ads. I barely get any money from doing this, which I'm trying, of course. I think it's because I have a full-time job. Sometimes I'm like, you know, it's not really an emergency, but I think I should get there, so I'm trying. I did gain some money by coaching other people, and I also am available to coach, but my priority right now is really to help others with their self-love. I feel like that's something that I've struggled to just find someone that could understand me, that could understand where I'm coming from, the struggles that I'm going through. And because this is episode 70, and I love the number 7, I think number 7 is really meaningful for me. It's kind of my lucky number. I mean, I'm born on the 7th of June, june 7th and I feel like this is a special episode to introduce myself, reintroduce myself, so that you understand why I do what I do. Alright, so, as you know, I do have a full-time job. I'm not going to tell you where I work. That is my personal life, but I do coach, I do speak at events and I also have this podcast right.

Victoria:

The reason why I'm here is because I want people to understand that they can really do anything they set their mind to, as long as they put themselves first, as long as they take care of themselves, and that means taking care of every aspect of your life, especially when it comes to your financial health, physical, emotional, mental, spiritual and physical health, and I'm not saying that you have to be great at all that because life is busy enough, right. I'm just saying that you have to make sure that you maintain those in a good state so that you don't go crazy. I mean, I go crazy a lot. I've gone through high and lows since I was 12 years old and God has kept me alive, even though when I was 12 years old I did not want to be kept alive. You know, things happen for a reason and I always will be grateful for that. God has always been a part of my life. Anything that I do, really I give it back to God Like I'm grateful and I'm also, like really aware of the things that God have done in my life. One thing like if you've ever gone through your wild 20s, like early 20s, you've been wild, you go out and stuff. The amount of news that I hear that people have been abducted and things like that, for me I will never relate because, by the grace of God, he has protected me every step of the way. Because if I tell you that I've gone on trips in another city with friends, with the random strangers, and that's the things that I love the most is just meeting new people.

Victoria:

I was not shy about that. I wanted to meet new people. I was crazy like that and wild. I was a fake extrovert For a long time. I wanted to be around people and I feel like it's because in high school and elementary school I wasn't really outside. I didn't have any activities outside of going to school. Literally, my life was I go to school. Well, I wake up, go to school, go home, do my homework, sleep. Wake up, go to school, go home, do my homework, sleep. I didn't have any activities outside of that school hour and I usually spent my time in my room. I was very closed off. I don't know if that makes sense. I introverted when I was a child and this is coming out again right now. I am going back to that.

Victoria:

The reason why I'm saying that is because as soon as I hit 18, 19, 20, 21, and I think the peak was 22, or I think that's when I started this I think what happened was I wanted to please people. I wanted to also be part of something. I wanted to be part of a group. I wanted to be included in things and I had a bunch of things. I had a one-boy friend that was a DJ and when you have that, you go party because the entry is free. Plus, if you're a girl, entrance or pro are usually free to the club. I was always out there. When I look back, even when I was there looking back, I was like I would never fail to say that God has protected me throughout my life because of the things that I've done as someone who does not really know wasn't thought a lot of things, especially about men relationships I grew up really toxic because I grew up hating men all my life.

Victoria:

Because in today's world, when you're growing, you're I have a big family and you're seeing things, it makes you feel a certain way. It makes you hate people, and the people that I hated the most were men and I just played with them. I was a big player. I had my moments and I also had my moments where I said the N-word ain't shit. For a long time, for about a year or so, I used to just repeat that. It was just an anthem. Then I also repeated stuff like I don't have friends and hate women or friendship with women is difficult because I had a lot of male friends but little female friends Until this day. I think it's something that is in the back of my head but that has improved too. That's called growth.

Victoria:

I didn't do that alone. I didn't do that alone at all, because once I graduated in university, the thing that made me realize that I was living life the wrong way was when I realized that I did not know anything about money. What happened was when I was near the end of my university years my fourth year I received a letter from the student loans department telling me that I was not going to get any student loans anymore because I lied about my income. But I didn't lie. I was just, you know, going crazy outside. I was working one week one summer and I made a lot of money, and the CRA saw that and the CRA is the Canadian Revenue Agency. So the CRA told the student loans department about my income and the student loans department decided to cut off my student loan for the next five years. And I was really near the end of my university years. So I realized that I really did not know anything. So I found myself working two jobs going to school full time.

Victoria:

I literally was working part-time in a store and working part-time teaching English early, early in the morning to like Chinese kids online, right, and that really made me so mad because I had a lot on my plate and I did not want to disappoint my parents, and that's another thing, right, like the pleasing people pleasing is still there when you're doing things that's not for you but for someone else. That is a people pleasing. All my life I've led my life that way, like whenever someone needed me, I would stop studying and be on the phone, and I guess now that's why I'm rarely on the phone and things like that, because just my experience has traumatized me, right? So I I just stopped doing certain things. As I'm growing, as I'm putting myself first in my life, I realized that it's important and I cannot be here and tell you that I did this all by myself. It is important to recognize that there's a higher power, whether you call it the universe, god, jehovah, yahweh, as long as you understand that there's a higher power that's guiding you, that's protecting you, that's trying to help you, you will be okay. Now, what made me change to this woman that I am today is really like this book. This book found itself in my hand when I read the book. It was an e-book. I still have it on Amazon I forgot the name of it, but the Amazon app for books and I read that when I was going through my challenges.

Victoria:

So when, nice, I received a student loans letter, I went through depression. Of course, I was working full-time. So sorry, I was working yeah, kind of full-time, because I had two part-time jobs and going to school full-time and during the summer I got a job that kind of made me pay off my tuition and all that. And then I graduated in November 2018. But before between me graduating and working full-time and going to school full-time, I went through different churches. Right, I grew up Christian.

Victoria:

Right now, I don't consider myself to have like a religion. I'm a part of a religion, but I'm a believer. I believe that there's a God like. I cannot deny it, right, everything that I do when I manifest, I know who I'm praying for and who I'm asking these things to. So, basically, I went through different churches and I let pastors pick things into my life and some of them were not cute at all, they were just. Some said things like I'm gonna get an accident and this and that I have to pray for you and stuff, and I I just realized that I was so exhausting, because I'm coming to you to learn about you, know the word of God and understand God better, and I'm being told that I might get an accident and things like that by this prophet. And it did not sit well with me and I think that was the last time that I went to that church.

Victoria:

And then after that I Realized that, you know, I just, I just have to pray the really the God and me, those, my spiritual health really depends on my relationship with God. I have to cherish that, I have to pray to him, I have to have connection right. And most of the time I am blessed to be a woman. I feel like us women, we have this really good intuition that never fails, like my mom Shout out to her, she just never fails with her intuition. But what happened was my intuition was just telling me to glorify God. So I went into, like I did a gospel Playlists on Spotify and it was on repeat, on repeat, on repeat, on repeat. Sometimes I would cry, sometimes I would just just tell God like, just, you know, use me for something.

Victoria:

And From there I Went to this new job Full-time during the summer and I was studying part-time so that I can finish, you know, have all my credit so I can graduate. And I met this woman. She was, I think, in her 60s and she's been working. There was a call center. She's been working there for 10 years and that call center is not a place that he would stay for 10 years, because if you know call centers, especially the ones that speak to all the nation in one country, sometimes you will get us people callers like for questions and stuff. It's Kind of hell. You will be under stress and overwhelmed pretty much every day. It is a lot. And For her to be there for 10 years I was like oh, no way. So being in that job kind of made me understand that I should not rely on the government for my own happiness. I should not work until you know 60 or things like that.

Victoria:

My perspective of life had changed and while I was working I realized that I could read books right. So that's when I started reading this. The first book that I started reading was Thick and Gorish, and this is the second book, so this one with A New Earth Awakening your Life's Purpose. I was really curious about what is my life purpose Like if I don't want to retire at 65, like I want to retire early or like I don't even believe in retirement. I believe that you know we are born on earth to have. We have one mission and you fulfill it, and then you know death comes and you know the rest. So, basically, that's what I believe in. I believe that for me, when you are in your 70s, you know the retirement age. It's when you should be teaching the next generation or the younger people how you know to live life, and that's why there's many life coaches that are older, because they have more experiences and they're trying to share their life right, and I always see this like I've read many things. Okay, this book is just the start, like the tip of the iceberg.

Victoria:

My spiritual journey went from this to learning about the ancient Egypt and how they lived, and you know the evolution of civilization and all that and just the importance of that. Also, like for me, you cannot go forward if you don't know where you came from. Right, and for me it's more than just knowing who your ancestors are. It's more about knowing about your history, your race, history, the whole human being actually. So my journey, my spiritual journey, brought me to the ancient Egypt, and one of them, one of their teaching is in life you have to plant a tree, and for them, planting a tree is like you have to write a book basically you have to leave something, because books always stay right. And that really spoke to me, because I'm like you know, even if I'm not 70, I can call myself a self-empowerment coach. I can call myself a life coach because I have been that friend right. That's been putting everyone else first, giving them advice, helping them with their dating journey, helping them like guiding them, giving them advice when they needed, being there for them, praying over them. For me, I really thought that. You know, god brought me here to help others and the only way that I can do it is to grow with you guys.

Victoria:

The reason why I have this podcast is for me to share my experiences, the things that I've done in order for me to remove myself from being a people pleaser to actually being who I am, this confident woman and, you know, showing my beauty in a different light and not just, you know, going out, clubbing, drinking and then Monday you're back to work, dreading it. I went from hating Mondays to loving Mondays. That's why my podcast episode comes out on Mondays. I went from sleeping until 8 or until 12 pm in the weekend, like 8 on the weekday because you know you work, but 12 pm on the weekend. But now, when I went through my transition I would. I started to wake up at 4 and I just start like the little changes like this in my habit made me really really sane because again I did not want to be in this world. I really my depression is still there. You know, I am maintaining it.

Victoria:

Like I said self, this, the five health really helps me and I hope it helps someone else. That's why I'm sharing and God has been speaking to me through my intuition and I will always follow it and it's never wrong. Right, maybe you'll have a special episode just to talk about intuitions, but your intuition is never wrong. Your intuition, just like your consciousness how you're, you know that this is, you know, a phone, or this is a book, or this is a cliff and you're not supposed to jump, or when you're like drowning, your body's pulling you up. All of these mechanisms that God has created us with given us actually is there to protect us. So your intuition is there to protect you. Your tuition is for you. This world is created for you, unfortunately, other people's consciousness are, you know, intervening with each other and we have all these laws and stuff and things like that, and you're not completely free, but you are still in control of your life. You can control your life. You can literally move mountains if you believe that you can move mountains. That's how deep it is, that's how God wants you to live. This world is to make the impossible possible and for me, I want people to grow with me. When you're on social media, one thing that you see is the good thing, right, the highlights of people's life. For me, I really wanted to show people that, even if you're not there, this is how you can be there and I am going to hold your hands. We're going to do this together and my podcast is going to help you. Basically, I just wanted to have that one person that can relate, one person that can like kind of understand and wants help. Understand that I am there to help you and yeah, so my path with God.

Victoria:

Really, this Eckhart Tolle book, a new earth again, here's this. It helped me understand the ego. It helped me understand that life is way more than being part of a religion, being part of a community, being part of calling yourself you know a type of race and being proud, allowed and proud. It's more than that. Life is more than just calling yourself a boyfriend or girlfriend, calling yourself your name, saying the I or mine, and all of that. It kind of helps you disconnect with that and kind of understand your life's purpose, kind of understand the reason why you were created. So this book is actually not for everyone.

Victoria:

I, when I started this podcast episode, I did not know where it was going. But to reintroduce myself, my name is Emmerance Victoria Odia Ndala. I created this podcast to help you with your self-love journey. I want you to be your best self. I want you to manifest the life that you want to manifest just by putting yourself first and being fearless. You know, being fearless and not doubting yourself all the time, being able to control your emotions, have emotional intelligence, being able to bounce back, build that resilience, because you know that the power that's within you is bigger than the issue that you're facing. And for me it's really important because I experience that and I experience that every day, and every day God shows me that you know, even though it's hard, because it is when you choose this path right, this path of, um, I'm gonna build my own empire, I'm going to grow by myself or I'm going to reach heights that people in my family haven't reached. It's not easy, right, when you're saying that you don't want to retire and you want to live your life until you know you feel you fulfill your life's purpose and you don't want to be, um, relying on the government for your retirement and things like that. You want to have your own money. It's not easy, right? Um, it's not. It's gonna be hard, it's gonna be challenging, and I really hope that you understand that.

Victoria:

And for me, although I named the five, health, which is the you know mental, emotional, physical, spiritual, financial health I might miss one, but I also believe that relationships are important. Um, although you know, when you're growing, you will outgrow, other people know that you will meet new people, and there are going to be people that are going to help you and there are going to be people that are just going to be there for a season to teach you a lesson, and you have to be okay with that. You have to be okay with experiencing. You're a human being. I always say that I'm a spirit living a human experience. Um, a human experience, right, that's what it is you are exploring. You're still a child exploring this world. You're still a child, understanding and trying to figure out stuff. So don't be scared or don't be sad because you haven't figured out life yet. You haven't tapped into what you should actually be doing.

Victoria:

I'm still trying to figure this out, like I am still literally trying to do everything within my power. Right, I have a full-time job. I'm doing this on the side and I love what I do. I love my full-time job too. It's just amazing because I've literally spoke things into existence and I'm gonna have another podcast episode. Maybe next podcast episode we're gonna talk about how to manifest with just being grateful, because I have a powerful, powerful examples in my life and it's super easy and I'm gonna share it with you all, right.

Victoria:

So this is gonna be the last um a time that I'm going to invite you to come and join me at this better coaching program. I'm having um to help you get in healthy relationships. If you've been struggling to, you know, go out there and date and you need assistance. I'm here to help you. This is completely free. I want to have this as a case study so I better understand what other people are facing while they're dating. I knew I know what I faced right and I know that my situation, my experiences, is not a shoe that fits everyone basically. So I know that some people have different experiences and different things going on, so I completely understand and I want to study that. So, with this better coaching program, that's what's going to help me do, and from there I will see if there's going to be another one, but right now I just need three more people, I believe, and I cannot wait to see you there. All right, the link is going to be in the description below and always remember that self first isn't selfish. Bye.