The Emmerance's Podcast

Singleness Series (1): Embracing Personal Growth

• Emmerance Victoria Odia Ndala • Season 3 • Episode 71

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Welcome to "The Emmerance's Podcast" with your host, Emmerance Victoria Odia Ndala. In this episode, Emmerance takes us on a journey of self-discovery and the beauty of embracing singleness.

Join Emmerance as she reflects on her 23-year-old self's perspective on singleness, self-worth, and personal growth. Through candid voice memos from the past, Emmerance shares insights into the importance of valuing oneself, finding one's identity, and embracing the freedom that comes with being single.

Explore the idea that being single isn't about loneliness but an opportunity for self-exploration and personal development. Emmerance highlights the significance of knowing your worth, understanding your values, and setting a strong foundation for future relationships.

Through heartfelt anecdotes and genuine reflections, Emmerance invites listeners to appreciate the present moment and invest in their personal growth. Discover how self-discovery and empowerment pave the way for meaningful connections and a fulfilling life.

Tune in to "The Emmerance's Podcast" for inspiring conversations that encourage you to prioritize self-love and embark on a journey of authenticity. Subscribe now to join Emmerance Victoria Odia Ndala and unlock the power of choosing yourself first.

Remember, self-first isn't selfish—it's the key to living a purposeful life. Don't miss out on this empowering episode, and stay tuned for more enriching discussions on personal development and embracing life's journey.

Freebie promotion: Grab the free Ebook The Beauty of Self-Love: How to Find Love In Your Singleness. http://emmerance.com/free-ebook

Get notified: The Emmerance's Podcast Newsletter!

About Emmerance:

Emmerance Victoria Odia Ndala is a Self-Empowerment Coach, personal development blogger and Transformational speaker. She has been helping people with their self-love and personal development journey by being their coach or accountability partner.

If you have any questions, contact Emmerance @TheEmmerance or email Victoria@Emmerance.com.

Instagram: @TheEmmerance

Website: Emmerance.com

Music Credits: @sakionthebeat

Speaker 1:

Do you really want to live your life with a 9-to-5 type of life Go to work, go home, watch TV, smoke, drink, party or do you want your life to be more meaningful? This is the Emerance Podcast, where we empower you to choose yourself, because there's no other human being that's more important in this world than you. This might sound selfish, but it's not. If you believe that choosing yourself is selfish, then I want you to know that self first isn't selfish, and I will tell you why. Hi guys, welcome back to another episode of the Amaranth Podcast. I'm your host, amaranth Victoria Ollandala, and oh, my goodness, I missed you guys.

Speaker 1:

I know it's been like two weeks that I did not post anything, or three weeks now, but you know, after my last Vegas trip I just needed some time for my mental health, for my emotional health. A lot of things have been happening in my personal life and I just wanted to come here and say hello. I took a social media break. It's like a social media fast, where I just want to be able to just enjoy nature, enjoy life as it is and just remove a lot of noises that I've been having in my head, and most of them happen to be because of social media. So if you are listening to this and you know me, I'm very you know I tried my best to be consistent, but it was time for me to just press the hold button now. Today I I've been planning to come back, but I've been trying to also figure out the best way to come back and I have been listening to my voice memos. I figured that I had a singleness series in my phone which dated back to 2020, 2019, 2018. But this one is dated from 2020 and I was 23 years old and today I am 27, going 28 in like two months or so. But I just, I just wanted you to listen to my 23 year old self and I'm going to come back and give you some tips and tricks on you know what I learned so far and you know now I am in a relationship, but in that singleness series I am not, and I'm 23 year old and I am giving you guys advice on how to enjoy your singleness.

Speaker 1:

So these are, these parts are more. There's more than five parts. So I'm going to do this and, you know, post it at least once or two per week or once per week. I'm still going to figure it out. But you know, if you don't want to miss any, just subscribe and don't forget to share to anyone that needs it. So tune in. Hi guys, I am going to talk to myself. It's just, it's 1134. We're on the February 26 2020. This is my first time recording myself, um, my thoughts, because I mean, I'm starting to do this because I feel like whenever I am thinking about something and I want to to write it down, I keep on forgetting. So I'm about to go to bed.

Speaker 1:

Tomorrow I'm working at 12 pm till 8 pm and apparently there's gonna be a storm, but it's pretty much decent. Outside there's not a lot of snow and it stops snowing and I'm just you hear that sound? That? That's my little heating heater. It's for office space, but in my room it's perfect because I can sleep like a baby after.

Speaker 1:

Anyways, today I want to talk about how being single it's something that people take for granted. I want to say that being single is actually perfect. It's wonderful. It's not that being in a relationship is bad, but I feel like a lot of people want that relationship because we want to feel wanted, want that relationship because we want to feel wanted and, um, I feel like you should be enough for yourself. You should. There's a lot of things that you can learn from just being single, just having that know from people that you, you like I mean I have been.

Speaker 1:

I liked, uh, pretty much a lot of men in my life, but the one that I liked the most, um, didn't want me the way I wanted him, and it it hurts, you know, and it made me realize that yo, it's not everyone that's gonna like me, it's not everyone that sees my worth and shout out to michelle obama. She said something that I will never forget in my life, um, on the oprah podcast that I listened recently, um, she said that you have to find the person that has the same value as you. You know, I mean, if you guys don't have the same value, if you just want to be wanted and that's it, you're not going to last. So, in order for you to know your value, you have to get to know yourself, and in order to get to know yourself, you have to know a lot of things. You know I have done so many personal evaluation. I've been evaluating myself.

Speaker 1:

I read about myself, sometimes Like I would write about things that I like and things that I don't, and sometimes I ask myself, like, why do I even like that? Like, am I even normal? Like I don't think I'm normal sometimes. But you know, whatever, it's not every woman that looks fly that would watch anime binge, watch one piece, or even my hero, academia, like shout out to everyone that likes those the mangas and animes. Shout out to y'all. But in a way, it's like being single is actually, it's probably something that you would like to obtain and really cherish.

Speaker 1:

Um, it's a season in your life where you want to just explore yourself. Like, do you really want to live your life with a nine-to-five type of life go to work, go home, watch tv, smoke, drink, party or do you want your life to be more meaningful? I mean, that's the moment where you don't have any, um, any extra how can I say it? Extra responsibilities, like you don't have to care. Like you don't care well, you don't have to care about what other people think, especially if you're in a relationship. You would like to be there for that person.

Speaker 1:

But then now you have all the time and you work for yourself. What are you doing with it? You know, like yes, it's good to go on dates and stuff like that, but focus on things that are more important. I mean it's just me. It's good to go on dates and stuff like that, but focus on things that are more important. I mean it's just me. It's not everyone that likes books, not everyone that likes to cook, it's not everyone that likes to do, etc. Or whatever you, they like things that you yourself like, and I feel like if you just feed that um that energy you know we all have that energy of going far in life and I feel like if you focus on that while you're single, it's gonna be perfect, like you're gonna actually go far and you're actually gonna find value in yourself. I mean, I started working out again and, uh, just keep myself busy.

Speaker 1:

You, you get a new job, you start thinking and you get frustrated because you are not where you are. You want to be in life, but you know we have I have at least like 80 years in this world. You know, what am I going to do for this 80 years? Those are the things that I think about and those are the things that people should start thinking about when they're single. They should be um able to enjoy the fact that you are. You have this freedom that you're probably not gonna have um in a few years. I mean, yes, you can like marry someone and then divorce, but that singleness that you're going to have, it's not going to be the same as being young, beautiful. You know, you just want to explore and have that energy to go out there. You know, and us women, our body changes real fast when we grow. So you want to have a routine, create a routine, create a mindset and just be who you want to be in life, and then you know what that partner that you want will come.

Speaker 1:

I mean me. I'm not stressing about it, I'm not even thinking about it. But when a man comes in my life, I want to know do you have the same value as I do? Do you have dreams? Do you want to go far in life and not just settle down? You know me, I will never, never settle down. I feel like settling down is just something that is for lazy people. No, I'm joking. If you want to settle down, settle down, that's fine. But I mean, even with kids, even with a big family, even like I don't see myself settling down, even when I'm 80 years old, I want to be able to work and by working it's like I'm teaching people how to live their life even more because of all the experiences that I have. I want people to interview me. I want, I want people to get to know the mastery that I've gained. Um, and you know, don't make the um like that type of things, you know, I want to be a source of wisdom, like that big wisdom, like right now, I think I'm wise enough, but I feel like I'm gonna be wiser when I'm gonna be older, you know. So, yeah, enjoy your singleness, try to get to know yourself. On my next episode, I'm gonna talk about things that you can do for personal development. I actually have two apps online that you can do some few quizzes to get to know yourself and then after that, well, you know, you can go from there and try to see what you want to do. Don't forget to follow my Instagram. It's at TheEmerancecom. No, it's actually at theemiratescom. No, it's actually at theemirates. That's all. Anyways, I'm very, very, very happy that you tuned in tonight. Have yourself a good night and I'll see you tomorrow.

Speaker 1:

Okay, first of all, who was I trying to seduce? At 23 year old, I am so done every time I listened to this voice memo, even though that was my second time listening to it. I was smiling. I cannot believe that came out of my mouth. But you know what? Um these, this memo I'm? I barely edited anything seriously. This whole podcast episode. I am barely editing anything. The only thing that I'm editing is my mouth not being able to actually pronounce the words right.

Speaker 1:

As you can tell, I am not fluent in English and I am bilingual and I also can understand some other languages, but I'm not a hundred percent. You know, a speaker of that language, so please understand. But one thing that I wanted to say that, um, am I. Am I still thinking the way that I was thinking when I was 20 years old? Yes, I do think the same way. I still think that being single is the best thing that you can ever do in your life. It's the best gift that you can ever give yourself. Now that I'm in a relationship, I do see the stuff that I need to work on still, but I also think that I can work on it while I'm in the relationship.

Speaker 1:

Now, just going back to what I was sharing, you know, um, we are, we get in the relationship because we want to feel wanted and, yes, that is true, a lot of people are not able to stay and be single and be alone because they equal singleness with aloneness. But singleness does not mean that you're alone. Um, you should actually get in a relationship knowing that you are enough and, honestly, you're not going to always find people that believe that they're enough. So just be careful when you're choosing a partner. Um, when choosing a partner, the most important thing is having the same values, because if you're not on the same page on the values district, then you're going to struggle so that. And the most important thing, know yourself. Like I was saying, I did a lot of self-reflection, self-discovery, all of these things. Actually, when I started my coaching programs, it was really based on knowing yourself and I was guiding my clients on how to get to know themselves.

Speaker 1:

But this is gold. I had fun listening to myself and I hope you did too. If you liked it and you want more, just let me know. But the next podcast episode will basically be the part two of this voice note, so we are going back in time and listening to myself speak, for I don't know how long. They're mostly under 10 minutes, but with me hopping in and talking to you guys is more. But yeah, if you have any questions and if you like it, please leave a comment. I am here and I am listening. So tune in to the next episode and don't forget to subscribe, follow and like. All right, take care of yourself and I'll see you next time. And remember self first isn't selfish. Bye.