The Emmerance's Podcast

Singleness Series (5): Why You Should Know Your Worth

• Emmerance Victoria Odia Ndala • Season 3 • Episode 75

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Welcome to The Emmerance's Podcast, where empowerment begins with choosing yourself. Hosted by the charismatic Emmerance Victoria Odia Ndala, this podcast dives deep into the journey of self-discovery, self-love, and the power of embracing singleness.

In this episode, Emmerance delves into the essence of self-love and the importance of knowing your worth. Drawing inspiration from iconic figures like RuPaul, she challenges listeners to prioritize themselves and break free from societal expectations. With a blend of candid reflections and motivational insights, Emmerance explores the liberating nature of being single and the opportunities it presents for personal growth.

Join Emmerance as she shares her thoughts on setting goals, crafting a vision for the future, and embracing the journey of self-improvement. With refreshing honesty and infectious energy, she encourages listeners to embrace change, take action, and pursue their dreams with unwavering confidence.

So, whether you're navigating the complexities of singleness or seeking inspiration to embark on your own journey of self-discovery, tune in to The Emmerance's Podcast and discover the transformative power of choosing yourself. Remember, self-first isn't selfish—it's essential.

Freebie promotion: Grab the free Ebook The Beauty of Self-Love: How to Find Love In Your Singleness. http://emmerance.com/free-ebook

Get notified: The Emmerance's Podcast Newsletter!

About Emmerance:

Emmerance Victoria Odia Ndala is a Self-Empowerment Coach, personal development blogger and Transformational speaker. She has been helping people with their self-love and personal development journey by being their coach or accountability partner.

If you have any questions, contact Emmerance @TheEmmerance or email Victoria@Emmerance.com.

Instagram: @TheEmmerance

Website: Emmerance.com

Music Credits: @sakionthebeat

Speaker 1:

And RuPaul said if you don't love yourself, how the hell are you going to love someone else? And I live for that motto. You know, you need to learn to be an individual. Stop expecting things from other people. Don't expect everyone to love you, especially like I don't know if you know, but if everyone loves you, then you're doing something wrong. You know, but if someone loves you, then you're doing something wrong. This is the Emirates podcast, where we empower you to choose yourself, because there's no other human being that's more important in this world than you. This might sound selfish, but it's not. If you believe that choosing yourself is selfish, then I want you to know that self first isn't selfish, and I will tell you why.

Speaker 1:

Hi guys, welcome back to another episode of the Emerance Podcast. I'm your host, amaranth Victoria Udjandala, and today, as always, I am happy. So here's to another recording, another voice memo. This is singleness part five, and I do not know what I'm talking about. So before I do and start the voice memo, I just want to say support your girl, support your girl by subscribing, following, leaving a comment. Just let me know how you're enjoying this, all right? So here's the voice memo and I'll see you after that hey guys, it's me again.

Speaker 1:

It's March 1st. It's pretty late. I'm working tomorrow really early at 7am, so I need to go to bed. However, yesterday's message was very short, but I really want to be able to write it down and elaborate my thoughts better, so I'm not going to talk about that, since this is just practicing the way I speak and my thought process and how I can share, since yesterday we're talking about our why I can share, since yesterday we're talking about our why. So, when you're single, you should be able to evaluate yourself and know exactly why you're waking up in the morning. Why are you going to that job that you hate? Why? Why? Why it's not just to pay bills. There's more than that. I mean, there's a lot of things that we can do today and be extraordinary in it, but it's only when we know the reason why we're doing something that really motivates you to keep on doing it and go far.

Speaker 1:

Um, on that note, today's topics will be um, the time that we spend in achieving our goals. Um, let's not just talk about being there 30 days, challenge to change your routine or something like that. Think about how that routine has to be there forever. How can you bring that up and start? Are you just gonna start right away or are you going to to to do it like? You need a plan, and I feel like people don't take their time to sit down and write down their plans, their goals, everything like how are you gonna do it? You know it's. It's good to have something. We all have a prototype. You have to have a prototype in order to see the finished picture. God already has a full picture of us on how we're going to end up. If you guys don't know it but we don't know that, it's all surprises. Think you worry too much about what god, um, what picture god has. Why don't you draw your own picture and do it, do everything you can in order to get there, to that picture that you have?

Speaker 1:

Um, there's one thing that being single really is an advantage. It's actually to to do all that things like. Of course, you can do it also if you have a husband, kids, a whole marriage. You can do many things, because when I speak, when I say single, is because you're a single person. We are all single person living our own lives. One thing that I do say is when you are with a partner already in your life. It's harder to shape, reshape things because you're not really think about yourself, you're thinking about two people. That's the way some brain works. But I want you to stop thinking like that. I want you to think as an individual, as in.

Speaker 1:

If you were here like today and you do have all these responsibilities and stuff like that, what can you still do in order to get into that picture that you pictured yourself in the future? I feel like we all want to um to what do you call it? Not to belong, but to, to be helped, like to, to have to receive help from someone, because we can't do it on our own. That's why we want to be in a relationship, we feel like. But those things do come afterwards. Even when you're in a marriage, don't expect your husband to all to be there, um, directly. When you start changing and things like that, you have to start doing it yourself on your own, and then people are not going to clap for you in the few minutes or a few seconds or even a few days. That's what I mean. They're going to start clapping when they see changes. You're going to motivate them, so start doing it right now.

Speaker 1:

Um, I feel like when we have all these goals and all these responsibilities, we think like we feel like we can't. But today I realized today I had a wonderful day, by the way I finished a book in three days, and that's one thing that I've never done in my life. I hate reading, I hated reading, but today I'm just like, yeah, I'll read anything right now. If it's about finance, love, relationships, sex, anything I'll read. That's educational, of course, um, but, like you know, just the fact that we don't think, see yourself as an individual.

Speaker 1:

When rupaul said if you don't love yourself, how the hell you gonna love someone else? And I, I live for that, uh motto. You know, you need to learn to be an individual, to stop, um, expecting things from other people. Don't expect everyone to love you, especially like I don't know if you know, but if someone loves you, then you're doing something wrong. You should have enemies, which is normal, because people are not always gonna go with the way you think, the way you see um, life and all that. People are very, very selfish, by the way, and that's something that I learned not long ago that anything you do, you do it for you. You have to understand that and because you know how you should get there and what the sacrifices are. You should be able to do it because in the beginning it's going to be hard.

Speaker 1:

It is In order for you to change a whole habit, to remove those habits and just make it a lifelong goal. It's going to be hard. Nothing is easy. Nothing good, um is easy. Nothing um that's good also is comes fast. That's not true. Like everything that's good, everything it takes time. It takes time to build a good relationship. It takes time to build a good relationship. It takes time to build a good relationship with yourself. It takes time to build a good spiritual relationship. It's it's hard.

Speaker 1:

And I'm telling you, because I am still on that journey of changing my life, of creating habits, changing this and that, my diet. What do I have to stop doing? And things all get connected together. They're all connected. When I started to go to the gym and I didn't eat anything spicy, and when I eat things spicy now my tummy hurts. Like my tummy do not go with spiciness anymore. It just does not go together and I feel like it's just a blessing because, hey, I love spicy stuff, um, but yeah, like you know, when we crew, you know your goal. You know your, why you should be able to to get into that action, to start changing and, of course, just letting you know. You probably know it already. It already not everyone that's going to applause you. You're gonna have lots of haters, lots of lovers, but just remember that as long as you are on your own team and you rooting for yourself, everyone is gonna do it. It's gonna follow you because you are doing it. That self-confidence is so attractive, guys, and I am telling y'all, because I know, um, that it's beneficial when you just want you're the best for you and when you do that, it also attracts like people. You might find yourself nourishing while doing that. And when you, if you have kids, you're gonna inspire your kids. If you have nephews and nieces, you're going to inspire them because they want to be extraordinary like you. Ok, well, I'm going to stop here.

Speaker 1:

I am falling asleep, not because what I'm saying is not valid. It is truly. I was listening and I'm like not valid. It is truly I was listening and I'm like, wow, I can't. But it's because my voice is so freaking cute. Like who am I trying to baby? Like seriously, but you can't even hear from my voice. But anyways, I think I was tired. Of course it's night and I needed to go to bed.

Speaker 1:

I am learning things about myself too, guys, like we're listening to this At the same time, technically. But what I would add to that is yes, yes, yes, yes. Everything that I said is valid. You know, when you start loving yourself, you will just start attracting wonderful things, wonderful opportunities. And respect. Number one thing respect. One of the things that I can repeat over and over again and give advice for to a good friend is to always respect yourself.

Speaker 1:

If you are uncomfortable wearing a certain thing, or if you are uncomfortable going somewhere because you see that, you know this is gonna bother me, don't do it, don't wear it, don't go there, because it is just not gonna work for you. Always follow your intuition. Your intuition is your best friend, like whenever you are dealing with the man. Ladies, I'm talking to my ladies here, and if you're a man listening to this, I'm sorry. I have to just talk to my ladies. Listen, whenever you are accepting disrespect from a man, they are going to redo it All right.

Speaker 1:

Action speaks louder than words. No man will ever convince me, or no one will ever convince me, that words are actually the best thing, I think, is actions, because you will act differently. If you don't want someone to sit in your you know, by your side at the bus, maybe you will probably put a bag there or feel like kind of do something weird so that the person just doesn't do it, or you will like look at them, I don't know. You'll do something for them to just go away. And actions are the same thing. Like when you do something, your subconscious mind is literally wiring Right, because when you go brush your teeth, you don't actually guide your hands on how to brush your teeth sideways, up and down. No, you don't, you just do it. Same thing if you know how to drive a car and you've been driving for a long time, you don't even think about what you do anymore. You just let the car go and your subconscious mind is the one driving. You can't even think about the food and the stuff that you did. That is very embarrassing while you're driving and you will drive and get home safe. So actions are the same. All right, if you don't like someone, your subconscious mind will act towards it and will give you what you're looking for, will give you what you want at that moment.

Speaker 1:

And if you are dealing, ladies, if you are dealing with a man that's not treating you the way you should be treated, you know the way you should be treated and if you are dealing with something that a man is doing, and if you have doubts you have doubts about their loyalty, their trust, or you cannot even trust them please, please, please, save yourself some tears some time. Just know that that person has been doing something and follow your intuition. If you want to talk about it, do talk about it, but you don't need to do that, all right, you can just leave. It's going to, you know, do you a favor. And it's going to do the men a favor too, because technically, they don't want you there if you're acting weird. And it's going to do the men a favor too, because technically, they don't want you there if you're acting weird. They just want you for the physical aspect of things, but emotionally they're not there. So, please, please, don't be a doormat.

Speaker 1:

All right, that's all I'm going to add, but honestly, wow, I didn't even know that I was doing this because I wanted to practice my speech. I mean, the reason why I did that is because I wanted, like, I'm bilingual, I'm French, like I speak French and English. My first language is French and I can speak French, but now my French and my English are kind of the same. I do, I mess up, I do a lot of messy stuff and grammar and stuff like that. It's not my my go to, but anyways, I am surviving. So this is the end. I hope you enjoyed it. Let me know if you did not, because I would really like like to hear more about what you think. All right, so remember self first isn't selfish. Bye, bye.