The Emmerance's Podcast

Singleness Series (3): Cultivating Authentic Connections and Inner Healing

• Emmerance Victoria Odia Ndala • Season 3 • Episode 73

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Welcome to The Emmerance's Podcast, where empowerment meets introspection. Join your host, Emmerance Victoria Odia Ndala, on a journey of self-discovery and personal growth. In this episode, Emmerance dives into the importance of choosing yourself and nurturing your mental health.

In this installment of the Singleness Series, Emmerance shares profound insights into the significance of prioritizing your well-being, especially in the context of being single. With candid reflection and wisdom gained from personal experiences, Emmerance challenges societal norms and encourages listeners to embrace their individuality.

Through engaging anecdotes and thought-provoking discussions, Emmerance delves into the interconnectedness of mental, spiritual, and physical health. Drawing from her own journey, she emphasizes the transformative power of self-awareness and the courage to seek professional help when needed.

Listeners are invited to explore the profound impact of their internal state on external realities, echoing Emmerance's belief that true fulfillment begins from within. From practical tips on maintaining mental clarity to heartfelt reflections on personal growth, this episode offers invaluable insights for anyone navigating life's complexities. 

Tune in to The Emmerance's Podcast and embark on a journey of self-discovery, empowerment, and embracing the beauty of prioritizing self-care. Remember, self-first isn't selfish— it's the first step towards living your best life. Subscribe, share, and join the conversation as we empower each other to thrive.

Freebie promotion: Grab the free Ebook The Beauty of Self-Love: How to Find Love In Your Singleness. http://emmerance.com/free-ebook

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About Emmerance:

Emmerance Victoria Odia Ndala is a Self-Empowerment Coach, personal development blogger and Transformational speaker. She has been helping people with their self-love and personal development journey by being their coach or accountability partner.

If you have any questions, contact Emmerance @TheEmmerance or email Victoria@Emmerance.com.

Instagram: @TheEmmerance

Website: Emmerance.com

Music Credits: @sakionthebeat

Speaker 1:

If we're talking about life and how we want to live, if we want to live a good life, we need to lead with good example. This is the Emirates podcast, where we empower you to choose yourself, because there's no other human being that's more important in this world than you. This might sound selfish, but it's not. If you believe that choosing yourself is selfish, then I want you to know that self first isn't selfish, and I will tell you why. Hi guys, welcome back to another episode of the Emerance Podcast. I'm your host, emerance Victoria Odiandala, and, as usual, right now, I am really pumped. Not as usual, right now I am very, very pumped and I am just so happy because I am realizing how wise and crazy I was back in the days and I still love myself. I love that 23 year old self and yeah, so I'm here with part three on the singleness series. If you've been listening, you should really take notes. There are little clips, so feel free to let me know if you have any questions. All right, and remember, please follow, and you follow and you know like follow, subscribe or whatever you call it. And here's the clip. I will be back for my point of view right after this. Hey guys, okay, so it's friday the 13th, I'm joking, it's friday, february 28th, and we are 11 pm. I probably want to record this after I shower, but I'm so pumped, my head is about to explode because I have so many things to talk about. But today I'll keep it one topic only. And then I got more juice for you guys tomorrow.

Speaker 1:

Now I just realized, like I asked myself who am I talking to? Who am I actually wanting to help? I feel like I just want to help people that actually knows what's up. I just want to help people that actually knows what's up, people that care about themselves, that care about what this life should be like, that do not want to live a life that's just cryptic, that you know government's telling you to go work for someone and you actually go work for someone. You pay your taxes, your life is full and boring, you get married, you have kids and now what? What you know you don't want to be able. You, I mean you don't want to go out there and work and and retire at 65. You mean, I mean, like life is like changing. You know we're changing. This is not, is no longer going to be, the real age of retirement. I feel like, if you are awake, if you are conscious enough about what you want in life, you would want to retire at least at 40. At least at 40 so that you can enjoy your life to the fullest. I have a big family and I'm seeing some of my brothers and sisters that are past 40. And I'm like, damn, I'm going to be way, way more than that. I want to be able to travel, I want to be able to have a private jet.

Speaker 1:

It's not just living a lavish life, but I feel like a normal life is not about being on a regular income or whatever income they're talking about. There's low income and there's the majority of people that have that income, like doctors and all they're in the okay income, and then there's the rich people. I feel like I can be rich. I feel like everyone can be rich, you know, but it takes time, it takes effort and, as someone that has a big vision, I just feel like everyone should have a big vision for their life, and that's why I am I am. I'm very like, I'm taking my time to talk about how being single and it's important, it's an important part of your life, and I can state a lot of positive thoughts that I think why being single is very important.

Speaker 1:

Let's talk about the fact that if you are single, do not have kids, probably still live in your parents' house, which is okay, it's totally fine. You don't have any responsibility maybe a car and your student loans, or no loans at all, but just a car to pay. You know all these things. Or you have, like, an apartment you have to pay. Anyways, you have little responsibilities, not too much. When I say too much responsibility, responsibility is actually like, okay, so you have kids and you have to pay for the kids and you yourself, and that's a big thing. You know, being single and having kids is very difficult. It's gonna be extra hard, but it does not mean that it's impossible.

Speaker 1:

You know, I feel like even if you're single and have kids, you still have the chance it's really your choice to take it and be like you know what? I'm going to change my life. I'm going to take care of myself, and when you take care of yourself while you have kids, your kids are going to be inspired or their lives they're going. They're gonna be like yo. I was a child and I saw my mom working so hard and my mom got me up here and look at where my mom is. You know I want to be like my mom. But greater than that, you know and you tell your kids, you show your kids, because kids, um, learn from looking at you. They learn from your actions. They don't actually learn from you talking to them. You read every day to your kids or you read every day to yourself. Whatever your kids are playing games, they would want to be cool and the coolest person they see every day is actually you. So don't forget that you can inspire any type of children like when I say any type of children, and like any, and like your children to be better. So if you want to help your kids to be better, then you have to be better. It's really about you.

Speaker 1:

So, if I go back to yourself, when you're single is very important, even when you're married or anything like. Today's topic is not even when you're only single. Actually, all my topics are not really for just when you're single, but I'm talking to single people because they're more left out, like there's. There's a lot of things that we see which is more about couples. You know, get this ring or get that perfume to attract this woman and all it's all bullshit, okay. I'm talking about the real deal.

Speaker 1:

When you're single, okay, and when you look at yourself, you should be taking care of the first and the most important thing. To take care of. Your some is your. How are you mentally? Are you stable? Are you not internally? How are you feeling? Are you physically drained? Are you mentally drained? You know it's just to take care of all the anxieties, the fears, the everything that's holding you back.

Speaker 1:

That's a very important thing to take care of, because if we're talking about life and how we want to live, if we want to live a good life, we need to lead with good example and first of all, our inside, our mental health, has to be good in order for us to be good with this world. Because I feel like the world is actually a mirror of what's going on inside of us. We don't need to learn from anything else. You don't really need to actually read about this. But if you just look at your life and you tell yourself, okay, I'm living in a very sad world, that means inside of you it's sad. If you always cry at night and you go out and you see all the sad things, it's just because you're sad and it's going to be different If you're good, if, if you want more good, you have to be good and everything like that. Now you need to be able to look at yourself and be like, okay, what can I do in order to to, you know, help myself with my mental health? What do I do? Talk to someone, maybe, or should I go to therapy, visit a psychiatrist? What do I do in order for me to get my mental health straight?

Speaker 1:

I honestly tried my best to actually work on my mental health. I have many, many issues in my life and I can see my inside out, like I can see the world coming to like a chaos out, like I can see the world coming to like a chaos then, just like the way my room is set up, everything. Every time I see it messy, I say that, yeah, I'm, I'm messy like I. I need to get my shit together. I'm not organized. My mentally I'm not organized. I need to get organized and I will start cleaning, taking my time, taking my time to actually clean and be present and just see how I'm doing it and be able to actually be happy because I'm doing good work, you know. So it starts from there. It starts from actually being alive from the inside and out, and it's really important to do these exercises to look at what exactly is good for you. I'm actually looking into going to therapy. I did not have time yet, but my work is offering it, so why not? It's very important to take care of yourself, and today we're talking about just the mental health. Tomorrow I'm probably going to talk about the spiritual health, and then physical afterwards, because everything is all connected. One cannot live without another. You need all three in order to survive, and right now I am going to be leaving y'all.

Speaker 1:

I love it when I actually make eight to nine minutes long audio. I love it when I actually make eight to nine minutes long audio. Oh, my gosh, you guys are witnessing the beginning of the five health, literally. I remember when I was trying to figure out, like how I'm gonna do my podcast and on what topics I'm gonna refer myself to and on what topics I'm gonna refer myself to, and literally I just realized that these voice messages helped me build this podcast and, as you can tell, it's literally audios, and I was like very proud of myself, for making a 10 minutes audio is because I think back then I was preparing myself to do a podcast and here we are, guys, here we are.

Speaker 1:

And yes, mental health is the most important thing and I think I don't talk about it enough, but I am just not a professional to give you more than just telling you that you really need to tap in into yourself. And the example that I gave wow, a 23-year-old Victoria knew that by just looking at your environment, by looking at your room if it's messy, that means you have some mental health issues going on. Go see a therapist. I completely, completely agree. Um, one thing that I can tell, too, is that if you start getting um, you know angry or frustrated easily, then there's something you know. You need to take a break and there's something going on.

Speaker 1:

If you are someone that doesn't drink a lot but you start drinking often, or you smoke often, but you, that's not who you were before or even if you are doing that right now and it's been so long, ask yourself, why are you doing that? Ask yourself, why are you so tapped into or why are you so always like going towards that? Because you want to forget things? You know all of these. You know alcohol, weed, smoking, even cigarettes like it's. It's an exit. It's an exit for you. It's something that will make you think about other stuff.

Speaker 1:

I just feel like I am just really impressed by myself, and to think that I started at 23, even before that it's a lot to take in and it's also a reminder for me that I have been doing great. And while I'm taking my social media breaks, I'm very surprised at the stuff that I've accomplished so far. And I still stand with the stuff that I say previously, and I just love the fact that nowadays, when I go on social media, I see a lot of people promoting self-love and and promoting the fact that you know, they really know themselves and they love themselves and they require something that is deeper than just, oh, you want to get married and let me get the ring that, but things you know it's more. Relationships should be more deeper, personal, very, you know, something that you can live with for the rest of your life. All right, so I hope this kind of helped you in a way well, not kind of. I hope that you took something from that, especially the whole room, messy room and stuff like that. That's a sign, you know, that's a sign.

Speaker 1:

So, yeah, and believe me, after that I did go to therapy. That was my first therapy sessions that I kind of cleaned everything that was, you know, talking about childhood traumas. That therapist literally took care of it and I was able to forgive my parents for that. So now we're healthy guys, but we're still dealing with other stuff. But I'm just gonna let it. Let's stop here. Okay, I'm gonna stop here and again, please like, subscribe, do your thing, let me know that you're liking this and that you're enjoying this as much as I am. All right, remember, self first isn't selfish. Bye-bye.